itsShar.com

So here’s the thing:

I want love. I want romance. I want affection. I want a man to hold me,kiss me, whisper in my ear, rub my back, grab my thigh… and cuddle me like his life depends on it.

But that man better, NOT stay too long. He needs to disappear when the sun comes up. Gone by 7:49 AM SHARP. Like a respectful ghost.

Vanish.

Teleport,

Evaporate

Leave quietly like mist. Not a trace. Not a sock. Not a scent. Gone…. Not sneaking, just leaving, Quietly.

Because I wake up early and I need silence in the morning. I need to stare at myself in the mirror and give myself a dramatic pep talk. My hormones are fighting for dominance. My brain is lagging. My mood hasn’t loaded yet. My cortisol is high.

I need to be insane in peace. I don’t want him watching me while I spray perfume at 8 AM like I’m baptizing myself. I need to walk around with one boob out, one sock on, and a bonnet half off without a witness.

I want a man to sleep next to me… but only sometimes. On pre approved nights. On scheduled cuddling days.

I want a man… …but from a safe distance. His own address. His own shower. His own fridge. His own bed. His own everything.

I don’t want a man clinging to me like an emotional backpack. I don’t want him breathing heavy while I’m trying to find my lashes in the morning. I do NOT want to share my closet. My closet is already fighting for its LIFE. I add one man hoodie, the entire thing will collapse like my patience.

My perfume? Untouchable. Sacred. Holy……A museum. Not for men. Not for guests. Not for curious fingers. Touch my perfume and the relationship is OVER.

I’m calling the police.

I’m calling the ancestors.

I’m calling Beyoncé.

Now let’s talk about the type of man I want. I want a teddy bear. A man built like comfort and happiness. A man with just enough belly to match my perimenopause belly so we can synchronize.

People ask me, “Shar, isn’t that unrealistic?”

Girlll… at this big age? NOTHING is too much to ask. I survived men, trauma, heartbreak, perimenopause, anxiety, raising boys, life and my own thoughts. I deserve the relationship arrangement of MY fantasies.

Does this man exist?

A teddy bear man with his own home, who loves me but also knows when to go home, and won’t disturb my perfume cloud or peace.

YES…. He exists. Probably still in God’s drafts, Maybe Somewhere Lost. Undeveloped, still being cooked by God. Probably smelling like cocoa butter and potential.

He will find me. He will love me. He will cuddle me. He will NOT live with me. He will understand the assignment. Until then…

I’m single, scented, well rested, peaceful and delulu in peace.

Love,Shar